We left the boy with the “Ocean Colored” eyes on Rue Cler and continued our trip to the pink pastry shop down the street. There’s a bell on the door that rings when you come in. It’s warm inside. The early morning light sunkissing the whole shop through the windows. The smell of yeast, cinnamon and freshly brewed coffee fills up the air. It feels like home.
Welcome to our second destination: A warm soul.
The way that your big hands and tall fingers used to grab my head, the heat of your body invading mine, your eyes looking straight into mine like nothing else mattered in the world, and then… when you had me under your spell, your lips would meet mine and your tong smoothly explore my mouth. I’ve had you so many times, but somehow I want more. I have a desire that only you can fill. My needing lips on your perfect skin, discovering every inch of your body, kissing you from the top of your head to the tip of your toe. I feel you. I feel you inside my veins becoming a part of me, growing bigger and bigger. I feel “home”.
It’s only there and then that I realize: I am terrified.
You used to kiss me like it was the last time you would see me. And when all that changed, I knew you had changed. The passion was gone; your heart left my soul stranded without an answer. I pushed you away, built up walls that became my home. I was very clear about my decision. I was very hard on myself. Sold our hearts into the hands of destiny. Dropped our love into the sea of hope. But that feeling you give me inside can’t and will not be compared to another. Only you can wake up in me the person that I have learned to live without…
You are the piece of me I wish I didn’t need.